1. He has more energy — and his influence
might make you healthier and more productive.
Maybe you want to sleep in until 2 p.m. on a lazy Sunday, but he wants to get up, make eggs, run some errands at Home Depot, and have sex with you for 1,000 hours and/or until
your vagina Can’t even.
2. He’s less cynical.
Unless he’s had an especially soul-crushing unpaid internship, he’s probably got some beautiful illusions about his promising place in
the workforce. And we both know you can use some positivity in your life.
3. He’s eager to please sexually.
Not only has he got the energy thing on his side, but it’s unlikely that he’ll be a selfish lover. You’re like the Mrs. Robinson he has to sexually prove himself to! He will listen and possibly take notes! Whatever tips you suggest
to him will be imprinted on his unformed brain
and carried over to all future
relationships. With great power comes great responsibility, bra.
4. And he’s open-minded too.
He might be into, say, letting you put things in his butt. Or having you sing “The Bear Came Over the Mountain” while putting things in his butt. If that is your heart’s desire.
5. He is at least partly into you because you impress him.
Being the older woman means, among other
things, that you are independent, smart, and
have your shit together. And rather than this
being intimidating, it turns him on.
6. He’s down with letting you call the shots.
For instance: During sex, Nick Cannon and
Mariah Carey listen to … wait for it … Mariah
Carey . When it comes down to it, you’re the
alpha dog in the relationship. Because you’re
the grown-up, and grown-ups know better. Just
kidding, kind of.
7. He’s more likely to take advice from you
without letting it bruise his ego.
For instance, he knows you are more familiar
than he is with the job search, so he listens
when you suggest that, I dunno, maybe
he shouldn’t use Comic Sans for his resume
font.
8. He’s got less romantic history for you to
deal with.
With a younger dude, there is less of a chance
of getting damaged goods — a guy fresh off a
broken-off engagement, for instance, or
finding an old live-in ex-girlfriend’s body wash
(Cookie dough? Who uses cookie dough body
wash ) in the shower.
9. You’ll spend all your time at your place
because his is either gross or his parents’ house.
So he’ll be the one doing all the traveling.
You’ll basically never have to do a Walk of
Shame in your entire relationship. Sweet.
10. You can relive the most fun parts of
your younger years without suffering
through the worst parts.
The occasional late night, unexpectedly fun
house party, and kinda decent obscure band
whose album he burned for you? Check. The
ambivalent dudes, shitty apartments, and
entry-level bullshit job? Still in the past.
11. He won’t judge you for quitting a job
you hate, traveling around Europe, or
making some other random quarter-life
detour.
While someone a little older might worry that
you’re veering off the path you should stay on,
a young guy will encourage you to keep
~*~*~fOLLoWiNg yOuR dReAm~*~* to become
a hand model or a papier-mâché artist or
whatever.
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