DO YOU KNOW HOW TO TALK?

Of course you do.
But if you are Nigerian, you probably have
heard the words "He/She doesn't know how to
talk" at one point or the other . In Yoruba
language it's even better expressed as "ko mo
oro so". (I don't know any Igbo/hausa/benin
languages so pls pardon me).
Shuo! How person no go no how to talk
again?
Help me ask them oh. Instead of them to say
"he is rude"," he said what I don't like", "he/
she said what I
don't wanna hear", "has a big mouth"
or "is a straight talker "they will say he/she
doesn't know how to talk.
I am a bit of a straight talker myself. I don't
like 'long thing'. keep it straight and to the
point.
Yes! I have also being accused of not knowing
how to talk ok.
Help me ask "them" which of these two
scenarios qualifies me as not knowing how to
talk.

Scenario 1
At a party.

Madam with big gele calls me "Ssssssssss!
Ssssssss!Ore iyawo! Yes you! ! Help me get 2
plates of the jollof rice, fried rice, Goat
meat,crabs,prawns, salad and a bottle of
wine. Don't forget my souvenir".
Me: Innocently. "But ma,didn't you just eat
five wraps of pounded yam and efo just now.
My friend also gave you your souvenir pack as
you entered the Venue".
Madam: gives me evil eye. Mutters to her
friend. "This one doesn't know how to talk".
I hurry to get the food before somebody
starts seeing madam 'big gele' in her dreams. I
cannot shout.

Scenario 2
Telephone conversation with an annoying guy.

Him: Iyawo! Hi!
Me : I am not your iyawo. Your iyawo is
probably still in Secondary school. Hope you
can be patient for her to grow older sha?
Him: *ignores me* Where are you?
Me: Somewhere.
Him: What are you doing?
Me: Nothing.
Him: You didn't reply my message?
Me: I think I saw it.
Him: Are you busy?
Me: Did I tell you I was busy?
Him: Can I take you out for lunch?
Me: I don't like eating with people. *is a lie
oh*
Him: Ok!Sorry. When can I come over?
Me: Come over where?
Him: Your house
Me: To come do what?Am not around.*
another lie*
Him: Ok!Help me greet my mother in law.tell
her that her son in law Jide said you should
be greeting her.
Me: Ehn! Son in law ko! Son in law ni. My
mother is yet to know her son in law. Abeg
goodnight.

*receives text 5 minutes later* "You don't
know how to talk".

Kai!what have I said now?
On a serious note though, some people do say
hurtful things that do a lot of harm to the
listening party's ego and psyche. I think those
are the original owners of the "don't know
how to talk" logo.

They are the ones who tell
a woman who has been married for five years
without getting pregnant " I hope you are not
doing family planning sha.Your mates children
are already in Primary two."

They are also the ones who want to tell a man
his wife is cheating on him and they first of
all ask if he doesn't satisfy her in bed, or give
her enough money, cos if not his wife won't
be seen with another man in an hotel.

How about you? Do you know how to talk? Do
you know someone who doesn't?
Are your words filled with vanilla,
sugar,salt,ice or vinegar? or even worse
pepper and petrol.lol

I don't like to talk alone oh. Lets share.
Post a comment (or two) below.